Welcome back to the membership blog post. In today’s post, I have felt the urging to recap on things that have learned in the last six months after my last post. Six months is a lot of time for thinking, shifting, and reflecting. Here are five things that I have learned in the last six months that have changed my perspective on life.
Simplify my life
After the opt-out, I have realized that I have been making my life more complex than it seems. How and why you ask? Let’s put it this way. Westernized society encourages you to invest your time, money, and attention into things that supposedly give you an amazing result, the American Dream, becoming famous, etc. However, the context of this dream is that you have to work as hard as possible to get there. To many, there is this idea that you have to suffer to reach this goal and you would be rewarded for that suffering aka the messiah complex.
My realization that I was making everything more complex than it seems came down to ego reflection. Who was I to say that my life was hard? It had its moments but not the worst. University also encourages this mindset by driving students to dangerous levels of behavior by trying to prove themselves to get the grade. My university has a saying, “Sleep comes after death” aka SCAD. I have decided to opt-out of this narrative by using the resources that I know to simplify my life. These resources can come from things like the Internet, the library, family, and much more. Simplifying my life reminded me of the childlike Sterling, and I’m glad to return to her.
Build a better routine
As a recovering perfectionist, I have had my moments of changing my routine to fit the ideas of ultimate productivity. Now, I have let those ideas go and build a routine that centers me first. I don’t need to answer all those text messages, emails, and notifications right away. I have time to write, meditate, and sunbathe as the light shines into my room.
My routine is flexible enough where I can have room to build and breathe. I suggest you apply the same mindset. How can you breathe in your routine? Your health comes first now more than ever.
Saying No to Unhappy Things
As this year has taught me, my health needs to come first. Being a recovering nice girl isn’t fun either and I have learned to say no to things that do not bring me joy. I have also learned to say no to things that I cannot give a quality effort to. This comes with taking stock of your feelings and listening to what your inner voice is telling you. If it’s telling you to rest, then rest. If it’s telling you that this work may not be the best fit, it may be time to listen.
That’s what I did and I am thankful for it every day. How to build that connection with your inner voice (aka your limbic brain), meditation is a great way to focus on those thoughts. I’m at day 56 of my practice and it has changed my perspective.
Reflect Daily
This blooming meditation practice gave me the ability to reflect daily. I prefer to do it in the morning as I enjoy the quiet and sunbeams. However, you can choose the night if that’s the best time for you. Another aspect of reflection is journaling. You have discussions with that inner voice and it can be quite sharp. It’s your world where you are having the discussions. Get deep and real with yourself.
Return to child life curiosity
Learning is fun again once you learn how to enjoy the simple life and say no. It is easy to return to this state when you build hobbies for yourself that are not mainly for profit. Yes, you can benefit from your hobbies but create these with the main goal of enjoyment. My realization that my burnout mainly came from this idea that I always had to make my hobbies into cash cows. Another ideal from Westernized society that pushes it onto you if you are not careful.
I have been enjoying things like writing and painting again. It has been more enjoyable because I have let go of the aspect of perfectionism and comparing myself to other people’s work on social media. I wish this mindset onto you as you grow, change and adapt again to the situations that are changing in the outside realm.
Put my life first aka my health
As Zora Neale Hurston said, “If you are silent about your pain, they’ll kill you and say you enjoyed it.” Never be silent about your pain. This is your permission (if you need it) to get aid and put yourself first. Your health is what keeps you in the physical realm and engaging with things that you love and hate.
As someone who willing left a bad situation, I encourage you to take stock of what’s going on in your life and if you need to leave, you can do so. Reflect, plan and take action on putting your health first. If it seems overwhelming, sit down and simplify first. Use the resources of books, YouTube, and the internet to get out of the situation. You have to consult with yourself and trust that you have the control you need.
After these five things I have learn, I have realized I have done much growing in the last six months. It has been an honor to reflect and shift into the being I am now. But as always, I am not complete in my growth cycle. Neither are you. I hope this blog post inspired you today. It is a bit different than my other posts and I hope you are inspired by it.
Much love,
Sterling