How to Debut (or ReDebut) like a Debutante

Model: Jasmine Tooks

As the spring season has arrived, it has become the season where each one of you (debutantes or not) are reintroducing yourself into society. From galas to small gatherings, it is time for you to remove the doubt about your experience and introduce yourself.

First off, what is a debutante? I have previously spoken about my experience as a debutante here. In my personal life, I am excited that my sister is going through this chapter herself next month.

Tip 1: Reframe your thinking

Everyone engages in the social dynamics of society once they decide to reframe their thinking. The most successful people use a reframe, a restructuring of thought in their mind, to approach something new. An example of a reframing strategy looks something like this:

Before: “I have to go to work and complete these tasks. After my long day, I have this company office happy hour, but I want to go home. ”

After: “I get to go to a job that brings me income that I can use for my pleasure. What else in this role can I use to bring more positive things into my life? Wait, I can network using this job across my industry. These connections that I make will bear fruit. This happy hour will help with this. I will stay for an hour and make my rounds of networking.” 

Outside of placing a positive spin on things, do you see how actionable the reframe is? In this example, the person mentioned the company happy hour and gave themselves a time deadline of how long they would stay for networking.

Tip 2: Get niche-specific about what you desire in your rebut

One of the lessons that a debutant learns is to be a patron of something they are passionate about. Examples of choices include wildlife, arts, and the education of young children through their charity initiatives. You can follow this similar lesson on your own.

It will help if you become specific about what you want to engage with and how you want to commit to. You may say, “I want to interact with people who have more income than I do because I want to learn how they have it.” I may ask you, “where exactly are you trying to find these people?” Use fields of interest to narrow down what you like the most and engage from bottom to top level. Examples include tech, finance, or the arts with different income levels, classes, and statuses in those fields as you network.

As you engage in these fields, beware that you cannot always buy your way into the door. You must engage your interest at the bottom with going to volunteering or networking with people on the ground. It’s better to build your connections over time versus buying your way in with money. Once you understand where you are going, you can build your social calendar for the year.

Tip 3: Stay ready, so you never have to get ready

I have found connections in the most random places. Why? I am willing to talk and engage with people. You have to understand that not everyone is ready to come to you and introduce themselves. You may have to be that person that does this behavior.

To find more about people, you may have to be uncomfortable with placing yourself out there. Practice makes perfect when it comes to talking to random people. You have made it if you can connect with others through a story or make them laugh. Read this post here about being uncomfortable.

Use these three tips to prepare for your adventures this spring and summer. Please let me know below some of your plans for the next few months. Make sure you click through the featured posts to see tips to help you through your debut!