One of the things I have realized about humankind is not everyone is meant to be connected. The internet has given us good and bad things when it comes to connection & globalism. But when enough is enough? You can opt-out.
This is not only in social media but your life. In this post, note how to opt-out, recognize the signs of this behavior, and self correct for the better.
The Realization of Addiction
The first step to opting out is to realize what’s happening to you. You need to have this realization on your own time. It can become frustrating to see other people continue to engage in conversations that you may not like. However, you are only in control of you and your reactions. You cannot control people. They did not consent to this.
For example, social media can be an addiction you may not realize you have. You may see yourself….
- Endless scrolling day and night
- Feeling like you are missing something if you aren’t online
- Witnessing chaotic and trauma bonding behavior
- Consist changing of algorithms from positive to negative topics in an instant
- Broken standard boundaries of communication — asking personal questions to expectations of always sharing
- Feeling overwhelmed and hopeless
- Less Sleep (Blue Light)
There is so much thick skin you can put out without seeming like you are punishing yourself by staying connecting 24/7. The ability of forever access to people has messed up our time, attention, and ability to give more to ourselves in our lives.
- Where do you see yourself on this list with social media?
- How does this apply to your physical life as well?
- Who taught you to continue to self punish by staying in situations that make you uncomfortable?
Save yourself first
In the book, The Body Keeps Score, people who have experienced some trauma will initially go back to the trauma. Why? It’s because they think they can control it this time and there will be a different outcome. I’m here to tell you, there will not be a different outcome.
People on social media will continue to talk about topics that don’t bring you value, friends will continue to take, take, take and family will continue to push you the way they want you to be. It all stops when you set the boundary of opting out.
Who taught you that you need to save other people before saving yourself? If you have ever been on a flight, a flight attendant will teach you that you need to put on your mask before you help others. You are not a messiah that would be celebrated if you try to save other people. Stop thinking this way. It doesn’t help you in the long run.
- Make of list of topics that you dislike the most from friends & family to social media.
- Ask yourself, how many times do I see or hear this topic a day? Why do I dislike this topic?
- Begin the process of thinking through on how to take action to remove yourself. Write down how you can remove yourself from the situation. It makes it more real once you do.
Stating your “I Opt Out” Mode aka your Boundaries
Opting out isn’t an act of avoidance. It’s stating the truth to yourself that you do not want to be there. It is an movement of action. You are leaving.
You deserve a place in yourself to be safe. You deserve to not be constantly on edge 24 hours a day and need to do something. To do this, you need to be active in building that safe space for you.
Accessibility can bring downfall to some people. We do not all need to be online or in public yelling out our opinions. Over sharing is not a great quality to have. It fuels the idea of overcompensating for something you have. The author, Bryon Tully, put similar thoughts into words here, “The Internet has convinced people that others really care about what they do all day, that their opinions are worth considering, and that having the opportunity and ability to share information means it should be shared.” (The Old Money Book First Edition)
Action steps: I want you today to think how can you save yourself from these moments. How can you say no and opt out for the better?
In our previous blog posts, we discussed the ability to say “I cannot relate”. Today I’m telling you to embrace that mentality of exclusivity. Not everyone deserves access to you. The influence of the internet and work productivity pushed on Westernized society to always be ‘on’ like a camera is in front of you. Remember, you are not a luxury if you are accessible. Today I ask you to opt out.
I did today with Twitter. Remember to live like you wish to in your dreams.