The Importance of ‘Being a Lady’ AKA Don’t Get Caught.
Before we begin, Madame Marjorie had a beautiful clip from the Steve Harvey show where she sat Lori down to discuss what she needed to do before she left for college. Every woman should listen to this and see what they take out of this moment. Watch here!
Be Discreet
You may have heard the term moving in silence. Yes, that statement. Moving in silence is one of those terms that many people like to state online for its theory. But, I challenge you to do it in real life.
Every time Lori goes viral online, multiple people ask, “We need a class from Lori. No, we need the REAL book from Marjorie.” Let me tell you something, that desire is something that will never come to light. Reason? A lady never tells. If she does, she does it selectively. Madame Majorie has always come across as a mysterious woman. She posts her photos, supports her husband, chats about her grandchildren, and highlights her foundation.
What does this mean for you?
Don’t be what I call a Twitter Diary User. AKA Don’t Overshare.
Twitter Diary User
It’s someone who uses Twitter as their journal or diary. They think they are tweeting into the void. However, people and Twitter can use these tweets to their advantage. It starts from understanding how you move in the world to take your information into the hands of the unwanted.
Chatter is Everywhere
People talk, and they always have the will to discuss with others. Oversharing breaks the mystery. It also brings more disruption into your life. People think they can comment on your life. Please do not give them access to your precious space. Keep it locked and keyed. It builds a strong foundation for life while avoiding this is you? Moment too.
In the eyes of men, they do consider you to be a conquest. Just take the entertainment industry and sports industry. These are very male-centered industries that use women as trophies and part of their competition. From Rihanna’s levels to former video vixens, these women use by the men in Hollywood as a strategic position.
Men talk a lot. I learned this quite early from my male cousins and male-driven hip hop. Even men know that they brag alot. From Drake’s song, “Own It” to Big Sean’s line on “All Me” about Naya (may she Rest In Peace), “My new girl is on Glee and s***, Probably making more money than me and s***”. Of course, when they are asked directly, they may not admit it. It seemed like an admitting to defeat and a blow to their ego.
Be Selective
Now, how does this relate to those who are not in those industries and networks? Still, be selective on who you engage with in person and online. Whether you are dating them or not, this is none of my business. Be selective as you pick your outfits daily. There are red and orange flags everywhere. Please include women in this category as well. Jealousy and envy come in all forms.
Questions to you:
- Does this person make me feel good when I am with them?
- Do I give more in the relationship to this person?
- Do I seem to overshare things that later hurt me in the end?
This subject is why I questioned why Lori ‘dated’ Future. He saw her as a conquest. Even Meek Mill had her on ‘his wish list.’ However, there was an exchange in this relationship. If you didn’t know, Lori was a former award-winning equestrian and former model for Dolce & Gabbana. Even she was previously engaged to a Dutch soccer player, Memphis Depay. That moment of ‘dating’ Future placed her into the spotlight of Black Twitter & the Black American community. She kept people guessing when she would post Future, if she was pregnant, etc. In a sense, Lori got caught or purposely caught.
Take the Keys & Start Over
If you have learned anything from this, take the keys to the car and start over. It’s okay to start over. Don’t beat yourself up about what you did not know as a younger woman. Or you didn’t have access to programs like I did growing up. You can take your experience now and plan for the better.
Remember, you are not a celebrity. You don’t have a heavy brand where people are not watching your every move. Of course, there is going to be some people plotting on you. But, you allow the snakes to come into your door. You can cut off, change and get a makeover internally and externally.
Remember, even celebrities get a makeover. See Miss Fenty as a great example from this when she took her career outside of music more seriously while ‘strategically dating’ her billionaire simultaneously. Of course, she was getting into bigger luxury circles and moving on up away from the rest. [Side note, I disapprove of her new relationship but, I’m not Rihanna, so it’s none of my business of who’s she dating.]
Start Your Make Over
Madame Marjorie got a makeover. However, she made sure that she was in control and charge. Listen to this story of how Steve met Marjorie. You don’t have to follow in their exact footsteps but use it as a lesson for your life. Learn, adapt and shift.
Madame Marjorie taught me to have high standards. Not only from my career aspirations but how I handle my life socially. In the end, I was in charge of my life. Not my parents or family members. I decided how I wanted to leave my legacy in this world.
Questions to you:
- How do I want to leave my legacy in the world?
- Where do I see myself going?
- Do I want to start over my life?
If you want to start over your life, here are a couple of suggestions:
- I always recommend therapy. Therapy can make you a completely healed and new person on the inside and outside. It makes you look at yourself and others in a new light.
- Delete your Facebook account or schedule a time in your day to mass delete posts on your account. I was lucky to join Facebook in 2016 compared to my peers. Also, go through your friends list and delete friends from high school, former work, etc. I now only use Facebook for select Facebook groups.
- Delete your Instagram. Start over entirely or go through your followers. Delete them. Delete your old posts. Utilize the restrict, block, and mute buttons on Instagram.
- Delete your Twitter or start over on a new account. Mass delete your Tweets with this tool here.
- Change your number. If you have had your number for years, it is hard to let go. But, do it for your sake. Only give your number to a select group of people.
- Change your emails. It’s another form of how someone can get to you from your past.
- If you even want to get more intensive, change things you do not think about, like your bank, where you hang out, what music you listen to, and content you consume. Mindset is a crucial part of the change. All of these factors have a section in your brain.
- Ask yourself why are you doing this? Not only from social but from those who do not value your time. Covid has made everyone realize how time is very precious. Make a photo book of all your old photos, if needed, from social media, life, etc. Select the ones that are GOOD moments to you.
Stay tuned for Part 3 of this series. We will be focusing on the physical lessons I learn etiquette, public speaking, sex education, and more. Please let me know what step you are on with starting to change your life.