The Power of Selective Privacy

As life goes on, the power of selective privacy continues to grow. In the last few blog posts and emails, I have been writing about the power of opting out. Opting out means leaving those behind who are not worthy of you, leaving those conversations that do not bring you joy, and much more. In continuation with this theme, this blog post focuses on the power of selective privacy in a data-filled and loving world.


As one begins their opt-out journey, they may realize that they are leaving much information on and off the table. The obsession of always remaining plugged in has affected us in Westernized society. We increase our anxiety, depression, and medication each year as our mental strengths go downward as we scroll. Today, I am here to tell you: there is power in not oversharing. You do not need to share every mini win and celebration with people you do not know for validation. It does not serve you well. It will take some mental preparation and realization to have this one thought: “I do not need validation from others.”

One of my favorite writers, Bryon Tully, once wrote in his book, The Old Money Book, “to prioritize personal reality over pubic perception.” Every day, you can see how this ‘retreat’ inside has made others enter the digital landscape. You have to remember it is not reality but, it has real consequences. As a marketer, I have had the realization that I can profile someone’s hopes, dreams, and truths from a single click of a button. It is terrifying and eye-opening.

Set the Tone

Here I want you to ask yourself the following questions, especially if you are a heavy social media user:

  1. Do you find yourself losing time in the day by being online?
  2. Do you find yourself asking other people for opinions on things that you already know the answer to?
  3. Do you find yourself getting easily upset or irritated by something someone said?
  4. Do you find yourself more disagreeable with other people and won’t listen to others’ opinions?
  5. Do you find yourself lying to be more publicly appealing online but not in person?
  6. Do you find yourself disillusioned with your reality and not happy about what is happening in the present?
  7. Do you find yourself waiting until your day is over to scroll online to ‘see what’s happening?

Each one of these questions will highlight things that you need to be concerned about as an individual. Each of these questions will set the tone on how you will shift your mindset and behavior on privacy. For me, I treasure my privacy more than ever. I control what I share, how I share it, and if I would like to. Each person that you met online is a stranger. You may think that you honestly know them but think of it like this. Do you know what their voice sounds like to you? Do you know what they like to do in their spare time? (If it is Twitter, get out of the relationship. That is too many opinions and ideas on a person’s mind.) We have discussed the little Black Book before, and are you using this same mindset on the people you meet online?

Core Principles

Establish what your core values are when you communicate with people. It is not only in the online space but in reality. Your primary process should be in reality. The privacy you have affects the facts of your life right now. Would you be able to say right now that you feel safe with your online presence? (Including those other family members and friends on Facebook – you don’t need to update 100+ people on your life). Hold yourself to a higher standard which is your own. The ones who seek validation from others will always go through moments of disarray, confusion, and anger. Why? They are not listening to their inner selves. It includes confirmation from me as well.

Today, you are setting these principles for the long-term of your life. It is not your mother’s, father’s, or other people’s lives. They have their own, and this is yours. The more you share in this life, the more people will look into your life with their opinions. You need to decide today if you will stop them at the door or let them into your (mental) house.